Know before you call.

Lesson 1 of 8

What a funeral director does, and whether you need one

A funeral director collects the person, cares for them, files the death certificate, gets the permits, and runs the day. A good one also explains your choices and what each costs. That last part is what this course does, before you call.

• Tennessee: state law says its funeral licensing rules do not stop a family from caring for and burying their own dead without charge. In practice, almost every family works with a funeral home or cremation provider.
• North Carolina: the law does not require you to use a licensed funeral director. If you don’t, you take on the paperwork yourself, and some crematories only accept a body from a funeral director.

Most families want a person to guide them, and that is a good instinct. In a 2026 survey, 62% of families said they prefer to have things explained in person, and 61% said it matters that a licensed funeral director helps plan or lead. Hestia is not a funeral home and not a funeral director. We help you arrive prepared, so the time with the funeral director goes on the person, not on decoding a price list.

I’ve read this Next: Your rights on price

Lesson 2 of 8

Your rights on price

The FTC Funeral Rule applies to every funeral home and cremation provider in the US. It gives you these rights:

• Prices by phone. If you call and ask, they must tell you their prices.
• A price list to keep. When you start talking about arrangements in person, they must give you their General Price List.
• Casket and vault prices first. They must show you the casket price list and the outer burial container price list before showing you the items.
• Only what you want. You can choose items one by one instead of a package. The one fee you can’t decline is the basic services fee, which covers the funeral home’s staff and overhead.
• Your own casket or urn. You can buy one elsewhere. They can’t refuse it or charge a fee for using it.
• No casket for cremation. For direct cremation they must offer a simple container, and they can’t say a casket is required.
• Embalming only with permission. They can’t claim it’s required by law when it isn’t, and they can’t charge for it unless you agreed or it really was required.
• An itemized statement. Before you pay, you get a written list of everything you chose and what each costs. If a law or a cemetery requires an item, the statement must say which one.

Read more: Federal Trade Commission · Shopping for funeral services

I’ve read this Next: What’s required, and what’s optional

Lesson 3 of 8

What’s required, and what’s optional

Much of a funeral is a choice. Here is what the law requires in each state, and what is up to you.

Rules change, and a cemetery, crematory, or the medical examiner can add their own. Confirm with them before you sign.

I’ve read this Next: How to read a General Price List

Lesson 4 of 8

How to read a General Price List

Every funeral home has one. They look long, but most come down to a few lines.

Basic services fee

The one charge you can’t decline. It covers planning, permits and the funeral home’s overhead. It is often the biggest difference between homes.

Direct cremation

Cremation with no viewing or ceremony beforehand. Usually the lowest total. Check what the range on the list includes, such as the container and the crematory fee.

Immediate burial

Burial soon after death, with no viewing. The cemetery plot and opening the grave are extra, and they are paid to the cemetery.

Cash advance items

Things the funeral home pays to others for you: death certificate copies, the obituary, clergy, the cemetery. Ask whether they add a fee on top.

Packages

Allowed, but you can always ask for the same items priced one by one and compare.

Always check the date printed on the list. Prices change, and an old list is a guide, not a quote.

Compare 30 published price lists · Check a quote you were given

I’ve read this Next: Papers to bring to the arrangement meeting

Lesson 5 of 8

Papers to bring to the arrangement meeting

• Full legal name, date of birth, Social Security number, and place of birth
• Parents’ names, including mother’s maiden name, and marital status
• Usual address, occupation, and highest level of education (the death certificate asks)
• Any written wishes, and any prepaid funeral contract
• Cemetery deed or plot papers
• Military discharge papers (DD-214), if they served
• Life insurance policies
• Clothes, and a photo for hair and makeup if there will be a viewing
• The name of the person with the legal right to decide

Ask the funeral home how many certified copies of the death certificate you will need. Banks, insurers and benefit offices each tend to ask for one.

I’ve read this Next: Spending where it matters

Lesson 6 of 8

Spending where it matters

In the 2026 survey, 59% of families who had just arranged a funeral said money affected their choices. When they cut back, they most often let go of flowers and the casket first, and kept the gathering: the time together, the food, the people.

That is a good guide. Spend on what the people there will remember. Save on what is gone after an hour. A simple container and a warm gathering is not a lesser farewell.

The same survey found 45% of families would have spent more if they had understood what it bought. So ask what each item does for your family, and decide from there.

Funeral costs explained · Meaningful funerals on any budget

I’ve read this Next: Who leads the service

Lesson 7 of 8

Who leads the service

About half of families in the survey didn’t know what a celebrant is. You have three usual choices:

• Clergy from your faith community, for a religious service.
• A celebrant, who writes and leads a personal ceremony around the person’s life. It can include faith, or not. Many funeral homes can suggest one, and some staff are trained celebrants.
• Family or a friend, with no officiant at all. This is allowed and often very moving.

Ask what the leader charges, whether it is on the funeral home bill as a cash advance, and how much time they will spend with you beforehand.

Planning a celebration of life · Help with the words

I’ve read this Next: After the funeral

Lesson 8 of 8

After the funeral

The work doesn’t stop at the service. Good funeral homes check in afterward. Ask what aftercare they offer: grief support, help with paperwork, a call a few weeks later.

• Keep the itemized statement, the receipts, and the certified death certificates together.
• Tell insurers, the employer, banks, and Social Security.
• Leave the headstone, placing ashes, and any later memorial for when you are ready.

The full after-the-funeral checklist

I’ve read this Next: the questions to ask