hestiaHelp with words
How to write an obituary
There is a shape most obituaries follow, and knowing it makes the writing much easier. You do not have to be a writer, and you do not have to do it today. This page walks through what goes in, and the builder puts your answers into a draft in your own words. Nothing is written for you and nothing is sent anywhere.
For:Use now
Open the obituary builderWhat goes in, roughly in this order
- Their name, and the name people actually used. Full name first, then the one their friends would recognize.
- That they died, in the words your family would use. Died, passed away, died peacefully, went home to be with the Lord. There is no correct version. Pick the one that sounds like your family.
- When, and where they lived. The cause is entirely your choice and many families leave it out.
- Where and when they were born, and their parents, if you want them named.
- Their life in a few lines. Work, faith, service, what they loved. This is the part people read twice, and it is better specific than grand. The choir, the third-grade class, the garden.
- Who survives them, usually closest first, and who died before them.
- Service details, or a line saying they will follow.
- Donations, if the family prefers them to flowers.
Leave out anything you do not know yet. An obituary with gaps is better than one that waits.
What it costs, which nobody mentions
Newspapers charge by the line, so length is money. A full obituary in a metro paper commonly runs $200 to $500, and a long one with a photo can go well past that. The New York Times has been quoted at $236 for the first four lines and about $50 for each line after, at roughly 28 characters a line.
Publishing online instead is far cheaper, often around $50 at a newspaper's own site and less at a memorial site, with no length limit and no expiry date.
The funeral home can place it for you. If they do, it appears on your bill as a cash advance item, so ask what the paper charges and what, if anything, the funeral home adds.
Figures from Everloved and Neptune Society, both reporting a $200 to $500 typical range. Newspaper rates change and vary by region, so ask for the total before you agree to anything.
This is why the builder offers a full version and a short notice. Many families publish the short notice in the paper and the full obituary online, where length costs nothing.
Three things worth knowing
- You are not obliged to publish one at all. Plenty of families tell people directly and never place a notice.
- You can correct it. Online notices can usually be edited after publication. Ask before you pay.
- Writing it can take a week. Several people add a line each, and that version is usually better than one person writing alone at midnight.
Where to place it near you
In Nashville, the Tennessean takes obituaries through an online portal and the funeral home can also place it for you. How to place an obituary in the Tennessean has the portal, the phone number and the hours.
Open the obituary builderHelp with other words, including a eulogy outline, telling people, telling work, and thank-you notes.